The Day the Music Died

File This Under: You Can't Make This Shit Up

REO Speedwagon performs at Walmart. In the Men's Department.

I can't fight this feeling of nausea.
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Poison'd by A Bitter Pill of Hate

Poison's new cover album features a rockin' version of Justin Timberlake's SexyBack (available exclusively at WalMart).

Poison is also on tour this summer. Their first gig: the appropriately named Bi-Lo Center.

You might be interested that Poison is performing in St. Louis on Thursday, August 2 (with Ratt) at Riverport, UMB Bank Pavilion, Verizon Wireless Amphitheatre St. Louis, a venue better known as The Clear Channel Spin-Off That Charges $40 for a Coke-Cola and a Pretzel.

Speaking of over-priced hype, your local cable provider is charging you $65 a month for a bevy of entertainment options, including “Rock of Love With Bret Michaels,” a reality dating show premiering July 15 on VH1.

"It’s extremely over the top. A couple of the girls got in actual fights. There’s motorcycle racing and motorcycle wrecks. There’s full-contact lingerie mud football ... It’s crazy."

Indeed.

And finally, another musical legacy is reinterpreted for a new generation -- Pickin' on Kelly Clarkson: A Bluegrass Tribute.

This special tribute takes the boldest songs from Kelly’s catalog and marries them to the rich sounds and traditions of bluegrass. A seasoned bluegrass ensemble comprising banjo, guitar, fiddle, mandolin, dobro, and bass recreate some of Kelly’s greatest musical moments: “Since U Been Gone,” “Miss Independent,” and “Walk Away” are performed and transformed with incredible skill and ingenuity taking these songs to a new musical dimension.

Um.

Yeah.

More like Bizarro Universe.

Me rock in corner now...humming.