January 2007 Archives

Ahhhh...history.

I'm reading a lovely little book called Faith and Treason and I'm learning all sorts of things.

For instance, Queen Elizabeth (the first) often ordered that Catholic priests were to be murdered punished for being...um...Catholic.

She frequently decided their their balls and limbs needed to be hacked off for practicing their religious beliefs. Not that they needed their balls, being all devout and stuff, but limbs – they’re mighty handy!

Ahem.

She also was not fond of folks who wrote trifling books like "Catechism of Christian Doctrine Necessary for Children and Ignorant People." Granted, that book was written by a zealous religious fanatic, but spending a life in prison for being a presumptuous, arrogant asshole…hmm…wait…I’m thinking about Rush Limbaugh…

Well, anyway - y'all know I love sassed-up hairdos and fancy, frilly frocks, but let us not forget that during Elizabeth's reign being a Protestant and attending church was mandatory. Otherwise, you'd be fined, sent to jail...or have your limbs and balls hacked off.

Congrats to Helen Mirren for her recent Golden Globes playing the QEs two, but a jazzy corset doesn't excuse the straightjacket of religious conformity and government-sanctioned torture that was a part of The Virgin Queen’s reign.

It should give pause to those who’d do the same thing in this country.

Oh, but wait.

It didn’t: GOP platform declares the United States a Christian nation.

Pentagon allows hearsay and tortue as grounds for evidence at Guantanamo Trials.

Today, I salute the women who don't need (or want) a man and the women who'd rather see their husbands gang-raped in prison than in another woman's arms!

Ladies: Don't want no scrubs, or hubbies, either.

Ladies: Don't drop the soap, dear. Two-timing's gonna be a lifetime in the slammer!

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Children with lice should shaved, not seen.

...and you, too, can star in a movie about Matrix-inspired exchanges with Princeton University librarians and engage in abstract philosophical discussions with Dr. Cornell West.

Let freedom bling!

Because White People are fucked up.

Slow Down Week: Jan 14-20, 2007

Congratulations to the fine folks at Verizon for slapping a trademark on this grammatical abortion.

One can only hope this campaign doesn't end in anticipointment.

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And, yes.

I'm back.

Like crabs, but far less itchy.

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Oh.

One more thing.

This post's title is deliberate.