June 17, 2005
From Diets to Dianetics
I swear to God - this shit is just writing itself today.
Below you will find an e-mail sent to me from those advocates of art & culture: The Scientologists. I had that encounter with them last year and since then, they will not leave me alone. They keep telling me other people are the problem and I'm all duh-I-know. They keeping asking me for money,too....and I've been telling those Dianetics ladies on the phone that I'm spending my cash on a tried-and-true people avoiding practice: pornography.
I'm totally joking about the porn. Kinda.
Anyway, if you'd like to shell out $126.30 (which would, by the way, buy a lot of porn) - you, too, can begin reprogramming your mind with this "application." Speaking of shells, it's neat and stuff to follow the
freakish cult-like practices teachings of a man who believed humans evolved from clams.
Here it is mostly unedited, and uncut, much like Tom Cruise himself (who should have clammed up a long time ago and is not gay). Well...he may or may not be uncut...but we'd have to ask Katie.
Like she knows.
"We instinctively revere the great artist, painter or musician and society as a whole looks upon them as not quite ordinary beings.
they are not. They are a cut above man … He who can truly communicate
to others is a higher being who builds new worlds."
What is art? A painter lifts the brush… A musician raises an instrument… A writer sets the scene… A dancer makes a leap… An actor takes the stage… Each is striving to communicate successfully through their own particular art form. When are they creating art? And when are they not? And who is to decide anyway? The field of art teems with critics, columnists and experts. So why hasn’t anyone been able to answer this one simple question: What is art? Read this book and find out:
The book comes with a companion Home Study Course workbook that will increase your understanding of the lessons and hone your application of the skills needed for your particular art form. In addition, you can mail in your lessons to a professional supervisor and have them graded at no additional charge! It’s the perfect way to launch your artistic career.
This fully illustrated and colorful book covers L. Ron Hubbard himself as a professional artist in many fields, including musical composition, screenwriting, directing and photography, and how he set out to define the subject of art and isolate basic principles — simple principles you can apply in your art, your profession and in life itself.
There are fascinating photographs Mr. Hubbard took of landscapes and people, a view of the more than 200 covers of the magazines he contributed stories to, and articles about his musical achievements and filmmaking career. Includes a chronology of his artistic achievements and his contributions to the development of new artists.
These songs from L. Ron Hubbard span over 50 years and exemplify the word creativity. Performed by Doug E. Fresh, Edgar Winter, Isaac Hayes, Chick Corea, Carl Anderson, Elena Roggero, Shannon Star Roberts, Pamela Falcon, L.J. Jackson, Howard McCrary and the Golden Era Musicians.
Listen to the Joy of Creating music CD and you’ll soon find yourself smiling, laughing and returning to your native enthusiasm!
Results from application:
"I’ll be honest. I was a failed artist. And I made sure everybody knew it, too. Years of lamenting over the fact I couldn’t produce as an artist. I had given up on art and just about everything else in life as well. Then I read through Art by L. Ron Hubbard. While reading, I had incredible realizations about the subject and by the end I felt completely revitalized. So, I made up my mind to just start producing art and applying what’s in the book. Without meaning to impress anyone, people started noticing my work and commenting favorably. I was 'in communication' and a failed purpose of a lifetime was gone forever. I get teary-eyed every time I recall the story but it was the turning point in my artistic career." G.M.
"I have been an architect for fourteen years, and studied the subject
for six years before that, and this book totally changed my viewpoint
on so many things. The Art book now lives on my desk. It is bent,
bruised and battered through use. But I wouldn’t operate without it. As
the author says: 'The greatest joy there is in life is creating. Splurge
on it.' Well that is how I’m going to operate from here on out. I have
no reservations in recommending this book to anyone involved in the arts
fine, mechanical, industrial, etc. It’s a vital discourse on so
many key subjects."