Shoulda. Coulda. Woulda.

Someone who has recently entered my life has suffered a great loss. We chatted at length tonight -- during the conversation I found myself with great peace of mind, and I truly hope he found some peace as well. Maybe today was a little bit better than yesteday. Sometimes, it's just baby steps.

On my way home, I realized that the folks that I hold near and dear to my heart are contrary idealists like me. We're a rag-tag team of cranky optimists that seems to be populated by the fiercely independent. Yet, so many times, our conversations turn to loneliness. Well, at least my side of the conversations will...inevitably...especially at 1:34 a.m. Don't fret: I'm not spilling anyone's tea on here, except for mine...well and maybe some asshole official's.

Anyway, back to the thoughtful stuff...a lot of us seem to skillfully balance and navigate along the emotional high-wire, taking baby steps that, in this scenario, are motivated by fear. Truth be told, taking the plunge and jumping, not knowing what is going to happen is maybe the bravest thing anyone can do.

I'm reminded right now of how many times I should have jumped off, without caring how I could have landed and what would have happened if only I believed that someone would catch me.