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December 14, 2004

Men Will Screw Goats

So expecting them not to screw around on YOU is a big, big mistake.

At this time of year, it's easy to get even more bitter if you're single. It's Christmas (awwwwww) and it's cold outside (great snuggling weather they always say) but in the end, it's just not worth it getting showered and going over to a trick's house for 12 minutes of wiggly-woo.

Of course, he cannot come to you:
1. His car is broken down and is in the shop
2. His mother will have to drive him over
3. He's still under house arrest
so it's always up to you to travel -- and it all seems so senseless.

With that in mind, I went back to a post earlier this year to help keep my expectations focused as I look forward to being single on Christmas and throughout 2005.

WHEN GUYS SAY
THEY MEAN
I don't like him
He won't blow me
I need you
My hand is tired
I need you
...at least for right now
I really want to get to know you better
...so I can tell my friends about it
I really want to get to know you better
Do you have a big dick?
How do I compare with all your other boyfriends?
Is my dick bigger than theirs?
You're the only man I've ever cared about
You are the only man who has not rejected me
I want you back
...for tonight anyway
I miss you so much
I am so horny
I am different from all the other guys
I am not circumsized
I go out with my buddies at least once a week.
I'm dating other men.
I'm not looking for a serious relationship right now.
You're unattractive and I was drunk
I really value you as a friend.
You're unattractive and I was drunk
I really value you as a friend.
You have cute friends that I want to sleep with
I really value you as a friend.
Maybe if I was drunk again.....
My career has always been my top priority
I have a two inch penis.
The sexiest thing about you is your mind.
You're not that attractive but I'll still sleep with you.
You're so funny
I won't sleep with you. Ever.
I work out a lot. I take pride in my body!
Why are you so fat?
This is so special. Let's keep it between us.
I'd be totally humiliated if anyone knew we were dating.
Can you be discreet?

I have a:
girlfriend
wife
boyfriend
husband

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About this Entry

This page contains a single entry by Rob Thurman published on December 14, 2004 9:46 PM.

Trashy Instead of Classy was the previous entry in this blog.

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