October 2003 Archives

I really like this pic....I took more and I might put up some more later....

Halloween: Part I Just a quick photo re-cap of last night's adventures as the one-and only Baby Jane...

I love this site!

In addition to the regular Dictionary component - it also has a DREAM Dictionary!!

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So.....my interview never showed up, so I headed home and watched a very disturbing episode of Law and Order - SVU.

Next thing I know, I've pulled out the drag kit and started taking some photos. I'd like to say that I was practicing for Halloween....after all, a bunch of us are dressing up as scary clowns....but, actually, I was just having fun smearing crap on my face and taking silly photos....

Sigh.... I am still at work....it is 7:45 PM and the candidate for tonight's interview is running way wicked late...so I am sitting here looking to the stars for guidance! Perhaps this is a puerile and foolish use of my time, but I am tired of spread sheets and clever marketing pitches.

Aquarius Karma Profile

Aquarius is the most progressive Sign of the Zodiac; ruled by Uranus, the Planet of Rebellion, Aquarius is never satisfied with the status quo and is always forward-thinking, finding creative, innovative ways to improve things. Its other ruling Planet, Saturn, lends it the hardworking sensibility needed to turn those ideas into tangible, concrete results.

Ayn Rand - Aquarius

Those born under the Aquarian influence are known for their quick minds, their magnetism and their social conscience; Aquarians are always the first to espouse viewpoints that favor the oppressed. They also make great and loyal friends and love a party or a gathering that allows them to mix and mingle with all kinds of people. Trouble for an Aquarius occurs on a more personal or private level. While totally at home in a crowd, Aquarius doesn't do so well one-on-one and can actually come across as cool, aloof or indifferent to anyone trying to gain its personalized, intimate attention. Why does Aquarius shy away from intimate contact? In truth, Aquarians tend to be shy and lacking in confidence; that cold demeanor comes not from a cold heart but from a basic sense of insecurity.

Uranus possesses a coolly androgynous energy; that, plus its rebellious tendencies, contribute to Aquarius's uncertain grasp of its own identity. Neither overwhelmingly feminine or masculine and with unpredictable impulses coming seemingly from nowhere, the uncertainty is understandable. Originality is never comfortable, especially under Saturn's more conventional rule, and Aquarius is a true original. However, this same originality can devolve into perverse eccentricity; Aquarius may try to be different simply for the sake of being different. This is an empty, pointless pursuit; eccentricity isn't an identity in itself. Aquarius must try to learn the reasons behind the impulses: What interests foster the humanitarian urge or the desire for progress? The answers to that question may provide Aquarius with the key to its inner self.

Carol is too..

Being so forward-thinking may be another reason Aquarius can seem so aloof; this Sign finds it difficult to remain grounded in the present for long. It may actually consider lovemaking and other forms of one-on-one relating to be akin to procrastinating. During slow, intimate moments, Aquarius may feel more and more restless by the moment, wishing it could stop wasting time relating and get back to the workshop (literal or figurative) where it can continue to invent, innovate, create! This restlessness can come across to others as tactless or rude, two of the last things this people-loving Sign would want to be. Aquarius must develop a certain level of comfort with its own ambiguity in order to be truly comfortable with other people, to be able to relate to others as individuals.

So is Sherman....

Aquarius may also need to harness its rebellious urges before it can truly understand itself. Learning to separate rebellion for its own sake from rebellion intended for revolution is key; learning the value of rules and traditions may help a great deal. Aquarius can look to Taurus in this regard, as Taurus places the same value on tradition that Aquarius places on rebellion. Aquarius can look to warm-hearted Leo to learn the joys of caring for another person in a close, intimate way; Scorpio can teach Aquarius not to fear depth of personal connection.

Somedays I don't feel like a real person.

Today is one of those days.

I wrote a friend today that
"I've been trying to be more upbeat lately, because I can readily find myself in a very dark corner of the world much too easily. I also find myself hoping that by thinking hard enough, I, too can be a kind and good person, and not just some clever, manipulative asshole."

Kinda bleak, huh?

I'm really not trying to be a drama queen. I'm just realizing that I have crappy empathetic skills and am not a very good friend, son or sibling at the moment.

I question my motives for everything I do and say.

All I have right now is a work ethic -- it's a damn serious work ethic -- but I'm feeling morally bankrupt. No, I'm not pushing little old ladies in front of moving cars, but this steady grind of nothing but work and putting on the persona is wearing me out. I usually thrive when there's this much going on.....but not now.

I need a vacation.

"I was born on February 12, 1809, in the then Hardin County, Kentucky, at a point within the now county of LaRue, a mile or a mile and a half from where Hodgen's Mill now is." - Abraham Lincoln

This is where I grew up.

My hometown is steeped in Americana, because Abraham Lincoln was born there.

For fun - you can send a LaRue County Postcard to your friends and family! I especially love that you can send a postcard of the bank that holds the note on my car.

Next weekend is Lincoln Days and my mother is terribly worried that this year's event will be a disaster. You see, attendance has been down for the past few years and there seems to be a huge lack of civic pride at the moment. Apparently someone drove his/her truck through the new landscaping on the town square, ripping up concrete, destroying the lights that illuminate the statue of Lincoln.

There's a parade next weekend, too....or at least there should be. That reminds me I need to call home. I've not called my mom as much as I should the past few months. She always knows when I'm bullshitting her about how my life is going.....and she knows that when I don't call that I'm deliberately not telling her something....so...ugh....I expect to hear guilt-inspiring message on Callnotes by SBC any day now......